


Al Capone is Overrated.

by FeliciaAmelloides



Series: A Oneshot a Day... [17]
Category: South Park
Genre: 1920s AU, Al Capone - Freeform, Gangsters, M/M, rum-running
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-28 17:10:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13908516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeliciaAmelloides/pseuds/FeliciaAmelloides
Summary: South Park AU- It's 1929 and fedoras are fashionable for men now! Also, Kenny McCormick and Eric Cartman are rival leaders of rum-running businesses across the Americas, fighting to see who can earn the most profit and popularity with their eager alcohol starved customers. It may be the Prohibiton, but these gangsters are willing to do anything to get some liquor, no matter what problems it may cause.What could possibly go wrong?





	Al Capone is Overrated.

**Author's Note:**

> This was another fun prompt, since I had no idea what to write for it at first. From doing a little research on the prompt I found my setting and idea- alcohol smuggling gangsters from the 1920/30s!
> 
> I hope that this is fun to read- I tried to include some additional characters and stuff, but ended up not including the girls even though I wanted them to be in it originally. It also ends a little awkwardly because I wasn't sure how to finish it.
> 
> TW- mention of prostitution, cross dressing used as a humiliation technique, alcohol (obviously), mention of shooting/death.

As usual, when Kenny McCormick reached the dock the boat was already there waiting. It was a rather inconspicuous vessel, much smaller and lighter than most of the others at the dock. Still, it was surprisingly popular with the locals despite the more 'entertaining' boats around it. Unfortunately for McCormick, however, Cartman's ship was right next to it, and he really didn't feel like getting shot that day. It had happened enough times for him to know that it wasn't a particularly pleasant experience. He lowered the brim of his fedora a little instinctively, as if that would hide his face.

Big, loud and flashy were words which could perfectly describe both Cartman and his boat. As mayor of a town in Colorado, he had become quite well known in the state for his incredible amount of charitable deeds, all done to hide his frequent tax evasion and exploitation of the people. The rum-running was actually the least of his legal problems at the moment. McCormick grimaced at the beautiful ladies scantily clad in all too revealing flapper dresses prancing around on the boat. How Cartman had persuaded anyone to sell themselves so he could sell alcohol on that boat he had no idea.

But then again, Cartman was rich. People would do anything for money.

Before McCormick could reach his own boat for the supplies, however, a flash of green caught his eye on Cartman's boats. At first glance, she was just some other prostitute, only dressed in a different colour. But Kenny didn't take everything at first glance. He'd had to check enough cheap bottles of unbranded sparkling wine disguised as the finest French champagne (and sold at ten times the price) to know better than that. So he'd immediately noticed that something was... off about that girl.

Her blonde pigtails and shy smile would have convinced most eagerly awaiting potential alcoholics that she really just some other prostitute. But when McCormick looked at her, he realised something almost immediately. That was a boy.

And not just any boy.

Leopold Stotch, Cartman's second in command and captain of his prized ship down in Mexico. Known only as Butters to those who didn't know better, he pretended to be kindly and misguided around potential customers before scamming them out of every penny they owned. In a way, he was more of a leader than Cartman ever would be, and McCormick oddly admired him for that. But here he was, on this boat, in Canada, in drag, pretending to be a prostitute to attract potential customers.

He definitely got on his boss' bad side.

Butters aside, Kenny quickly wrenched his eyes away from the 'girl' and hurried to catch his own supplies before a rival buyer took them off his hands. A gruff voice addressed him just as he reached the deck.

"You're late. Again." Ike Broflovski ran a hand through his unruly mop of hair as he approached Kenny, already tugging a small trailer of wooden crates behind him. Disguised as juice crates, they really contained several fine brands of alcohol, most imported from McCoy himself ready to sell at a high profit. Much better than any of Cartman's cheap crap. McCormick smirked lightly at the younger boy, already reaching for the trailer.

"Security was pretty tight at the border today. I think they're starting to suspect that something's up." That was only half a lie. The way that the guard had looked at him as he let McCormick pass proved that he was already under suspicion, but the real reason why he was so late was because he'd made a 'quick' two hour detour along the way to try to organise some of his contacts along the Gulf of Maine. Those idiots were constantly sloppy in their bootlegging, and he would have fired them weeks ago had they not brought in such high quality liquor every time.

"Send Karen next time." Ike shrugged nonchalantly, holding back a laugh as a sudden rage flared up within Kenny's gut. There was no way that he was sending his little sister straight into this mess- she was innocent and didn't need the trouble. She deserved more than that. But of course, he would only receive more laughter for that remark, so instead he spat out a, "Don't bring Karen into this." and left it at that.

Ike grinned as he handed over the shipment and Kenny took it coolly. "You'll be here in a few weeks I suppose?" he asked casually, leaning back against the boat's rusted railing.

"If I'm not dead by then." He was only half joking- really, it didn't matter if he was dead by then or not. He'd still be there regardless. That's just the way it was with him.

"Good." Ike smirked as if he knew something which McCormick didn't, and then added a quick, "Tell Karen I said hi." before spinning on his heel and retreating swiftly into the bowels of the ship. Kenny glared after him before dragging the trailer away.

As McCormick stewed over Ike's sudden interest in his little sister, he barely noticed the streak of green rapidly approaching him until it crashed straight into him, sending it sprawling to ground with a pained yelp. Fortunately, Kenny was quite experienced with being assaulted and was able to stand his ground. The trailer survived as well, which was even better.

When he turned to see who it was who had tried to kill him this time, his eyes widened when he realised that it was Butters himself. Still dressed in the flapper dress and pigtails, he looked up with an expression of desperation and quickly raised his hands, revealing no weapons. After giving him a once over, then another for good measure, Kenny begrudgingly stuck out his hand to help the boy up. He quickly took it and rose to his feet, albeit quite unsteadily.

"Gee, thanks Ken! Knew I could count on ya!" For some reason, Butters' smile seemed much less patronising than Ike's. McCormick wasn't even surprised that the boy knew his name- Cartman probably talked about him a lot. He had to hold back a smile of his own at the thought of the fool raging about how much more popular Kenny's business was than his whilst trying and failing to come up with strategies to best him.

"Yeah, sure. Now there's even more chance of you killing me." Although his response was blunt and filled with trepidation, a very small part of him wondered if Butters really did come there to kill him. Actually, it almost seemed as if his running into him really had been accidental.

"Kill you? But I'm not here t'do that! I wanna join ya!" Kenny's eyes widened almost comically. Join him? Well, that had certainly been unexpected...

"And why would, Cartman's main bitch, want to do that?" McCormick resumed dragging the trailer back to his van, where Kyle was waiting for him. Butters could go join someone else. He was clearly just trying to become a double agent so he could report on their operations to Cartman. What a pushover. He'd never regain the little respect that the fatass must have once had for him like that.

"Because I don't wanna be his main bitch anymore! H-he made me leave Mexico, where everyone's all friendly and nice an'stuff, and come here to be a girl and dance for the crowd just 'cause I kept too much of the profits! If I'm gonna be a traitor here, I'd rather be a traitor with you." Kenny stopped walking and turned to face Butters. Although he hardly looked like he deserved any respect in that thigh high dress and skewed blonde wig, the sincerity in his sky-blue eyes shone through it all. And it was that image which made McCormick throw away his better judgement and let the boy join. It wasn't that he trusted him, of course not, but maybe he really could give him a chance.

"Well... I guess I could let you play with us for a little while... But before you do anything, you have to earn my trust." Kenny finally allowed himself to smile, hoping that he sounded cryptic and looked really cool from the outside.

"An' how do I do that?" Butters cocked his head to one side, causing the wig to slip and almost fall before he quickly righted it.

"That's for me to know and you to figure out," McCormick's smile deteriorated into a lazy smirk as he led the boy to the van. Ignoring Kyle's surprise which quickly became a heated glare, he loaded the trailer into the back and then motioned for Butters to enter too, "First task- stay in there without damaging any of the supplies. I'll try to persuade Kyle to take you home with us, but I don't know if it'll work." Butters crestfallen expression at the thought of not being able to join them hit him unexpectedly, before a steely determination returned to the boy's eyes.

"Got it!" He smiled and entered the van, sitting on the slightly dirty surface of its floor without any qualms apparently. Kenny had decided that the task was easy enough- if Butters really was trying to be a double agent then he would wait until they got to the main base of operations before causing any trouble, and if he was sincere then he would try his best and probably mess things up. Either way, there was a long way to go before Kenny was willing to put any level of trust in the boy.

But maybe this could work. Maybe he really would be an asset to their schemes.

It might be fun to have a traitor from the other side in their ranks.

McCormick entered the van after tightly sealing the door, and Kyle hit the gas pedal hard, sending them hurtling away from Canada with a screech and a bang. He didn't know if his idea had been good- really, it probably was a terrible idea- but he hoped at least that taking Butters on wouldn't ruin everything immediately. If not, then it really would be fun.

The van sped off into the horizon, ready to deliver their goods and continue their schemes until they died (or at least until they got arrested).

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how to write Butters so I gave him an accent >~<
> 
> What an AU! I was really surprised to find a plot idea like this from googling fedoras, and I'm not really sure why it ended up being South Park again, but I hope that it was fun regardless.
> 
> I don't really ship Bunny, but I wanted Bunny to be in this for some reason so I made Butters into a flapper Marjorine (I don't know why either) and made Kenny sorta employ him.
> 
> This is one of my better oneshots, but I'll try hard to top it tomorrow!
> 
> Prompt- Someone wearing a fedora.
> 
> Original Number- 104.


End file.
